What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 26.06.2025 15:03
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Would Taylor Swift want to be as rich as Trump? This why she vote for Kamala?
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
My life is so biszare .
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
The Best Late-Night Snack to Lower Cholesterol, According to Dietitians - EatingWell
As i do to all so called friends.?
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
But it wasn’t much.
Trump administration’s deep cuts to public health leave system reeling - PBS
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
She was in good health!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
How to watch George Clooney in ‘Good Night, and Good Luck’ live for free - New York Post
Put me off passion for life!!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
(And it was in our own minds.)
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
It was going to be , some day.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I never cut or harmed myself..
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Trump gets back behind raids in immigration whiplash - Axios
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Weekend Box Office: LILO & STITCH Stays on Top as BALLERINA Opens to $25M - boxofficepro.com
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Disney makes hundreds more layoffs as it cuts costs - BBC
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Who then, do I blame.?
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Comes on , in middle age.
Ive learnt so much.
What did i know ?
All the time i was locked up.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
When she asked me how she looked .
They are buried together, in the same grave..
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Would this be the day?
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Was to survive, this bastard.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
This is soul school!.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I was very sick at this time too.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
One cannot live in the past .
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Why did i forgive my father ?
So, i spoilt her more .
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I could never make a relationship work though!
And i lived it daily.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
She wouldn,t have been !
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
She married twice! .
I was seconnd youngest,
But ive been too sick for many years..
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
He knew the spot.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
She found it foreign!.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Im still living with it.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
But, we were locked up after school.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I waited trembling.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I was scared of men, in general
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I will be 64.
I don,t even have a pension.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I said to her
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
So whats the point in blame.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
We all went to grammer schools
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I write beautiful poetry .
I was 9 years of age.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
We were not on the streets..
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I have no regrets .
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Especially a lifetime of it.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
He resisted the act ,that day.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
She loved him until the end.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I think the readers, may guess!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
My family never makes their pension either.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I was writing from the time i was a small child.